Memoirs of a Yakusha
by Angelus Eros Weiss
Summary: A child separated from his two siblings. The people who he had encountered along the way to his success, the times full of sorrow and hatred. His first love breaking his heart… Kankurou tells the story on how he became one of the most successful Yakushas.
1. Separation

Title : Memoirs of a Yakusha

Author : Angelus Eros Weiss

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto.

**OOCness and Alternative Universe**

Rated : M (for safety)

Warning : Some sexual themes (on upcoming chapters), foul language.

Angelus Eros Weiss here! After my long absence has come back with a new fanfic, Memoirs of a Yakusha… I know the title's not that… nice… do not flame me. Anyway, I have been reading too much 'Memoirs of a Geisha' I love that book. That made me make this, I heard someone did a fic on Naruto based on this book as well. I just want to tell you, I just heard about it, but I was already making this fic by the time I heard it. So please, do not flame me that I stole your idea or something. Like the book, this is from Kankurou's point of view like I have said in the summary. Anyway, Kabuki is so fascinating that I made it into this, I do not know that much about it yet but what the hell, I am going to make something about it! Anyway, Yakusha means actor. Like it said on the summary.

Summary : As a child separated from his two siblings. The people who he had encountered along the way to his success, the times full of sorrow and hatred. His first love breaking his heart… Kankurou tells the story on how he became one of the most successful Yakushas (Actors) at Kabuki.

Chapter 1 : Separation

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_Kankurou's POV_

Just think that the two of us are sitting in a quiet room at a cool evening. Crickets heard as every second passed by. You are sitting across me and in between us, our tea placed on a table. As usual, I have my chin rested on one of my hands in a bored manner as I talk to you about 'this guy' and 'that guy' I have met in one of my Kabuki plays. After a few minutes, you suddenly ask me why I even became a Kabuki actor. I suddenly grew silent and looked at you, thinking that it offended me of some way. I just gave you a sigh and then told my story that I did not choose to become a Kabuki actor from the beginning. I was born at a small fishing village. It was so long ago. Even so, I could still remember those times I had with my two siblings, my older sister Temari and my brother, younger than me by two years, Gaara.

I remember the times when we three would watch otoosan place his fishing nets and other supplies inside his boat. It was not really a beautiful boat. It had scratches due to the times when it would hit on one of the rocks near shore. It was old; my otoosan told us that he had not ever changed a boat since he was about… I do not know, since he started fishing I guess and that is a long time. After looking at our otoosan sail away into the sea, which is the time when we three would start playing, since we had nothing to do at those times. I remember when my sister would always be tagged first and run after us with her face red in annoyance of why she is always the first tagged because of this, we run even faster in hope of not being captured by the annoyed one. This would last until Gaara suddenly gets tired from running and rests in the middle of the game making him vulnerable. Well we play more games but that is another story.

As you could see, I do not mention my okaasan, anywhere as if I forgot about her. To tell you the truth I did not, she died giving birth to my younger brother Gaara. I could remember those times, I was only two then but I could not forget that time, Temari and I were waiting outside, the room where mom was inside. We sat on a wooden bench; I swung my legs back and forth keeping myself occupied. Temari was just looking out of the window, gazing at the sparkling sea in all its glory. To tell you the truth, the two of us were excited to have our new sibling, 'Would it be a boy or a girl?' that question lurked deep within my mind and I guess Temari's as well. Until suddenly I heard okaasan screaming, making me stop my legs from swinging and look towards the door worried. "Don't worry she will be okay." Temari told me, as she placed her hand on top of mine trying to calm me down. Somehow, I felt uneasy, I did not know what was going on but the apprehension would not leave me. I prayed that okaasan would be safe and later on, I could see her sweet smile again with my younger sibling cradled in her arms.

That thought made me a little comfortable… a little. It was only a while until the screaming started to tone down until it completely stopped. There was one thing that came into my mind that time, my okaasan's sweet smile. I started to get restless, making Temari restrain me for being too energetic from the excitement. After a few seconds, one of the old women helping my okaasan in her labor came out. She had a sad expression on her face. She faced the two of us, "I have news to tell you." She continued, on giving out a sigh somehow having a hard time to tell us what was going on, "Your okaasanKarura has gone to the clouds." she said it to us making it as simple as possible. Most of the time to children of that age of mine, we think that heaven is up at the sky, the clouds itself, visible to our innocent eyes. I could remember Temari falling into tears along with me. Okaasan was gone now, I could do nothing to bring her back, her body was cremated and her ash thrown at the sea by our father who requested to do so. She was able to name that younger sibling of mine with her last breath and that name was Gaara. At first, I somehow resented him, he was the reason okaasan, died in the first place, that was what I thought but Temari just held him in her arms and even if she was young, she decided to help dad with Gaara. While it took me about a few months until Temari was sick at bed and dad was out. I was the only one left with Gaara as a baby continuously crying at first I watched him but I could help but give him what he wanted.

Anyway, moving on, one day, when I was about seven years old, my uncle Yashamaru came to our home, I was the first to greet him and told me that he wanted to see otoosan. Temari just managed to arrive while he told that to me and lead him to the room where otoosan was resting. I followed them and as Temari left to continue her chores, I eavesdropped on what they were talking about by the looks of things it did not sound good. They were talking about the business of the fishermen in this village and I could hear Uncle Yashamaru saying something like, boats bigger than theirs came and started to capture most of the fishes, leaving little for us. I could see my father with his arms crossed, he looked down and gave out a sigh. I continued on listening. I could not remember the actual words he said but he said it similar to this, "This is bad, how could I tell Temari, Kankurou and Gaara about this, they are still too young to start working." He looked towards uncle Yashamaru and his eyes widened as if a god himself had appeared before him. "Yashamaru, you work at a restaurant here at a town near here right? Maybe you could take care of my children for me." he then continued on hoping that Yashamaru would accept, "I won't have enough money to support my children right now but I will be able to repay you sooner or later."

I could see uncle Yashamaru thinking deeply about it and he gave out a nod, I knew he agreed but I did not get through their whole conversation since I suddenly felt Gaara tug on my shirt. He asked me to go and play with him; I took a quick peek first and saw my uncle and otoosan standing up. This made me wonder what my uncle's conditions were but I just ignored it and played with my brother, somehow sad about what my father just said. I was not worried about Temari disagreeing with this but I was worried about Gaara not being able to cope with the sudden changes. A few days later, _otoosan_ told us to pack our bags, we would already be moving to our uncle's home. Otoosan walked with the three of us until we reached our uncle's place. I looked up, it was somehow big for a man with uncle Yashamaru's status, well I thought he was just like a waiter at the restaurant, until I found out that he owned the restaurant himself. Otoosan left us by the time; we arrived there and told us to take care. We knocked on the door and after a while, a woman wearing a simple kimono and with triangular markings on both his cheeks opened the door. She was the maid, she looked at us and said, "You must be the three Yashamaru-sama is waiting for, come inside." After we came in, she shut the door and headed down the hall. Temari followed her first; I looked down at my side to see Gaara having a tight grip on my top, I could not blame him, I too was scared on what was going to happen. I then followed the maid whom I later knew, named Inuzuka Hanna. Hanna led us to a room where Yashamaru was sitting right before a table with a cup of tea set on it.

He told us to sit down and so we three did, I looked around the room and saw how elegant it looked not like our home. Filled with different paintings and a bookshelf full of… well… books. It was not like anything I have seen before, I looked at the table right before me, it had carvings of birds, people, trees and many more. It was as if the table itself was telling a story. I looked at the teapot and teacups set on the table. It was more expensive than anything we had back at home. The sudden change of scenery made me awe struck. From a simple, home to such a thing of extravagance, I have never imagined to live in such a place. Yashamaru then called Hanna close to him, and told us that she would be responsible of taking care of us and teaching us everything, we needed to learn. As I look back to it, I remember myself wondering on how the maid knew such knowledge and wisdom. Then we started our studies under her guidance, she told us that she used to be a sensei at one of the schools at Tokyo, well that answered my question.

While we lived under the Uncle Yashamaru's roof, it was a very comfortable life to say at least. Temari, acted like an _Adult_ as usual even though she was only a year older than I was, this annoyed me at times. She acts so _'civilized'_… yeah right. That is until she turns into that bloody pig tailed blonde demon when she gets pissed off. Gaara is doing well, he managed to adapt with his surroundings and he is a genius, smarter than I am. Something did not feel right though, it is as if, there was actually no _love_ in it. It was like Uncle did it because of otoosan. Everything felt so plain in a way. Did Temari and Gaara notice the same thing I did? I remember myself hoping that they did not, I actually wanted them to live a normal life with no disturbance. One night Hanna sensei told us that, Uncle Yashamaru was calling for us. The three of us came altogether and sat before him, who had a serious expression on his face, making us get worried.

"Your otoosan passed away." He said with his eyes looking straight at us, with his hands around the teacup placed near his lips, he drank a little and then continued with his eyes narrowed, "You know what that means, he cannot pay the money I spent for you three." I knew there was something going on; uncle just did all those things because of the money my father would pay in the end. He told us as he placed the teacup on the table. He clapped three times as a sign that he was calling our sensei. Hanna sensei went near and uncle Yashamaru whispered something in her ear. I did not know what it was but when I looked at my sister Temari, she had her hands covered on her eyes, crying from what she had heard from our uncle. Gaara just wiped the tears of his face, trying to stop himself from crying. I wanted to cry but my feelings mixed with anger and sorrow. Angry of what Yashamaru did and turning out that he did not even love us at all. Sorrow that my father died without us knowing what happened. "Lowly orphans should be put to their places, unless someone will be willing to adopt you three but who would do such a foolish thing?" he continued, he gave me out a glare as he saw me look at him with hatred in my eyes. "Especially this one, do you even know what will become of you, pathetic bastard!"

I was about to stand up when Temari pulled me down, I looked at her and she just shook her head, while tears slid down her cheeks. Gaara just looked at me scared, worried and confused of what was happening, his innocent green eyes glistened from the tears forming. When suddenly, Yashamaru gestured his hands and muttered something like, "Make sure the door is sealed shut." Hanna sensei gave out a nod and led us each to our room, first was Gaara's which she shut tightly, then Temari's doing the same. Until it was my room, I tried struggling for her to let go until I have noticed the way she held my arm, it was actually gentle. I stopped for a while, she gestured me to sit down on my futon, she shut door and sat right in front of me. She had a sad look on her face, as if she did not really want this to happen. She only said a few words to me

However, I remember her saying, "I treated you three as if you were my own children. I really did not want this to happen but please forgive me Kankurou; I am just following Yashamaru-sama's orders."

"Why do you keep on following his orders anyway, can't you do anything?" I said to her hoping that she would say the answer that I have expected. In my disappointment, she just shook her and went out. I could hear her seal the door shut and the sound of her footsteps getting softer and softer. I just lied on my futon and decided to sleep.

I woke up just in time to see a man opening the door to my room; he had wore something that looked like bandages on his head and with a cloth that covered half of his face. He wore plain clothes and he was not good looking that is for sure. He grabbed me by the wrist and roughly pulled me out of the room, I tried struggling for him to let go, but he was stronger than me and I had no chance. When he pulled me at the hallways towards the exit, I never saw uncle Yashamaru anywhere but only Hanna sensei near the doorway, looking down on the ground, maybe she was sorry about not being able to do anything… or maybe something else. "Where's Temari?" I yelled out, trying to get myself out of that man's grasp, as I looked at Hanna sensei silent. She looked at me and replied, "Baki had come earlier to pick her up and send her to a place where she could be _checked._" I looked at the man who held me by the wrist, he must be Baki, since I was just young then, I did not know what Hanna sensei meant by Baki taking my sister to a place where she could be _checked._ I was scared and worried of what will happen I felt as if I wanted to die at the spot. Baki then held his hand out towards Hanna sensei as if he wanted something. She gave out a nod and gave her his handkerchief big enough to tie both of my hands together, which he did. While doing so, I kept on moving that it made it a hard time for him to tie it, he then gave me a strong slap on the face, leaving a red mark. Hanna sensei just looked away. Once I went out of the house, there I saw Gaara sitting on a rock with his hands tied together as well. He was looking down as if he was lost in deep thought, until I noticed that he had a red mark on his face. He must have tried struggling as I did; I hope Temari's safe and no harm done to her.

Baki led us to a train station, in where I ignored all his doing and just looked at Gaara who was as equally as scared as I was. I wanted to hug him and tell him that everything would be okay but I could not. Until suddenly Baki pulled us once again to enter a train, I sat right beside Gaara, whispering words that would comfort him to ease his emotional suffering. After a few hours, the train stopped at another train station. Once again we were pulled roughly outside until, some guy wearing a straw hat and a sort of thing that looked like chair with wheels connected to two poles behind his back came. My memories are killing me, I forgot what it was called. We climbed on it, and Baki said something about a teahouse or something. The guy nodded then began running. Until he stopped at a building with a sign that said, 'Shiawase teahouse', he first went down and pulled me along with him, leaving Gaara sitting there all alone. Until I found out that, I was to be separated from Gaara. I started to struggle with all my strength and yell, "GAARA! GAARA!" I saw Gaara's expression, it was as if he wanted to jump off and come running to me but there was nothing he could do but look at me get pulled away. What if Gaara was sent to someone cruel that would abuse him? I would not be there to try to save him. Where is Temari? Is she okay? What did they mean by her being _checked_? Baki forcefully pulled me towards the entrance until there appeared a woman, young in stature; she had long wavy black hair and her eyes colored red. Her kimono looked more like bandages wrapped all over her, and if it really was, she must have spent a lot of time wearing that kimono of hers. Good thing it was just the design.

I looked at the woman and as I did, I heard Baki say, "So Kurenai is he good enough for you?"

The woman named Kurenai, began to lift my arms and then let go of them, making them drop down. I felt like I was a toy tested. I did not know what was going on. She placed her hand under my chin and began to observe my facial features. Once again she held my arms and began to bend them. Then I could see her thinking hard, she then looked at Baki and nodded. He then untied Hanna sensei's handkerchief and dropped it on the ground. "You may now leave, I could handle this on my own now." She said to him, Baki bowed and went away. I quickly picked up my sensei's handkerchief and placed it in my pocket. Then I looked at Baki and Gaara get farther until they were out of my sight.

Kurenai led me into the teahouse, currently closed so no one was in there. I looked around, it was a simple yet beautiful, it had a bonsai tree place on the counter. The tables were clean making them sparkle as light hit them. The lighting was just right and relaxing. The smell of tea filled the air. The room where I was in now overlooked a garden. Flowers of many colors, a pond where you could hear the relaxing sound of the fountain. Many people must have visited here to stay at such a beautiful place.

Kurenai sat down and gestured for me to sit right in front of her; I did what she ordered me. "What is your name?" she asked me, I noticed the way she sat, she had good posture like the way I saw Hanna sensei sit.

I looked up to her, she was not tough looking, she looked at me the way Hanna sensei did, she reminded me so much of her, the only difference was her appearance. "Kankurou…" I said, "Sabaku no Kankurou."

"Well Kankurou," she said looking straight at me, "You certainly are not staying here for free, you would be working here as a servant boy." She then stood up and went behind the counter.

I gave out a nod and a sigh of relief that at least I was in a better place than before. I wonder though, what are Gaara and Temari doing now? I just wished that I would one day be able to see them again. I know that Gaara could not have been taken too far, right? I decided to think that maybe Temari is the same place; I should find a chance to look for the two of them. When suddenly I saw her place a tray right in front of me, with a plastic teapot and teacup on it, "Follow me." she said, walking outside towards the garden.

Once we arrived outside, she took the teapot, filled it with water and placed it on the tray. "Walk towards the post then back here without spilling anything even a single drop." I began to walk towards the post, my hands started shaking, the teapot and teacups were making noise. Accidentally, I tripped, spilling the water down to the ground. Good thing I only received a scratch on my knee.

"Again!" She said aloud, this time I filled the teapot with water, then repeated what I have just done. It took me at least thirty tries or so to perfect it. Taking off the shaking of my hands, was the hardest part. I looked at Kurenai, and she seemed satisfied of my quick progress. I was lucky she was one of the patient ones.

Later that night, was already the time where Kurenai made me start working. In addition, one-step closer on being what I am today.

_To be continued…_

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Angelus Weiss : Please do not flame me, healthy constructive criticisms are okay since I need a lot to improve. Please review my fanfic if it is okay with you. Anyway, see you next chapter!


	2. I'm Just a Servant Boy

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto

**OOCness and Alternative Universe**

Warning : Some sexual themes (upcoming chapters), foul language, Shounen-ai

Angelus Eros Weiss back with chapter 2, I hoped you all liked chapter 1. Please read and review my fic, since I want to know how many people like my fic. Since I do these fics, not for me really but for the readers, so I want to know if people are reading this, even though it is just one review I would be happy with it but it's your choice if you want to review or not right? Anyway, on with chapter 2!

Chapter 2 : I'm Just a Servant Boy

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Later that evening was the start of my work; I started placing teapots, bottles of sake, beer and many more on the tables. Some of the men who entered were rich executives with Geishas along with them having good times. Drinking contests, flirting and loud laughter were one of the few happenings inside the 'Shiawase Teahouse'. I was doing well and Kurenai is happy with me.

I suddenly saw two men come inside the teahouse. The first one had a pale complexion; he wore a violet eye shadow and had long straight black hair. His kimono was colored white, at the end of his sleeves it was colored lavender. Not that much decoration except for the lavender diamond shaped patterns at the bottom. In addition, I have noticed that his movement was more graceful than any other man I have seen. Well the others are not actually graceful, but that man's movements were so graceful that when I look at him from behind, he could easily be mistaken as a woman.

The second one had a sort of bushy white hair as if he had not comb for weeks, not like the other one, he was actually robust, he had a sort of metal on his forehead with two spikes that resembled horns. The main color was red with shades of gray at the end of the sleeves. Unlike the first one, he was loud and he had two geishas right beside him, he is enjoying himself all right.

Upon their entry, Kurenai quickly appeared before them with a bow and said something like, "Please come in! We have been expecting you two, you are welcome to sit down wherever you want!" she looked at me just stand there with an empty tray in my hands. She pushed my head down making me bow before the two men, "Bow Kankurou!"

"Why?" I replied to her with no clue why I should even bow before these guys. As you could see, Kurenai only taught me how to serve but not who to bow down to and who to not.

Kurenai just rolled her eyes and then bowed before the two multiple times begging forgiveness for my so-called ignorance. What? It's not my fault she didn't tell me that I should bow to these guys when they came in. I did not even know the two. Kurenai then started pushing me towards the kitchen, "Hurry! Get some tea and sake for Jiraiya and Orochimaru!" she said to me somehow with a mixture of panic and excitement. When she was doing that, I kept on thinking why those two are such a big fuss. I quickly ran to the kitchen. When I came out, I already had the bottle of sake and the teapot with the teacups on the tray. Kurenai quickly signaled me to give it to them as fast as I could and gave me a look that told me to be polite. I walked the fastest way possible; I then placed their drinks on the table while politely saying, "Here's the sake and tea you wanted." I then stood up and once again bowed, "Please excuse me I will be going now."

I still remember by the time I turned around, I let my tongue out in disgust of what I just said, it sounded gay! Talk about child abuse… Everyone was busy talking and drinking that no one ordered anything, meaning, no work for me. I sat right behind the counter to look at everyone enjoying themselves, my eyes slowly lingered towards Orochimaru and Jiraiya, I managed to tell who's who, the quiet one is most likely to be Orochimaru and the loud one Jiraiya. I do not know how I got it correctly but I just based it on the way their names sounded. Try pronouncing their names and you will find out why. As I looked at them, I saw Orochimaru look back at me but only by the side of his eyes. I do not know why he looked at me but Jiraiya was too busy with the two geishas for him to notice.

Later that night when the two were about to leave Kurenai told me to say, "Thank you please come again!" Just hearing this made me sound like she thought of me as a girl… I am a boy… I had no choice; I just gave out a sigh. I followed Kurenai towards the exit, bowed along with her and said what I am supposed to say.

I could feel Orochimaru's eyes looking down at me; I looked up at him and saw a smirk. He and Jiraiya just left with the geishas, as I could remember. Orochimaru said something to Jiraiya making him look back at me. I wonder what it was though, until now I never found out. Every two weeks they would come here, which actually increased the teahouse's popularity. Since Kurenai told me that this teahouse is lucky for them visiting at least 3 times in a year and unlucky if they did not visit at all. Kurenai thought of me as a lucky charm and never gave me a day off from work. I was exhausted every night for continuously serving stuff the guests ordered.

There was also this time when Jiraiya and Orochimaru were about to leave. Orochimaru called for Kurenai, instantly she came. They talked about something, which obviously was me because they kept looking at my direction. Then after their conversation, Kurenai gave out a bow and Orochimaru left with Jiraiya along with the geishas of the perverted one. Kurenai came close to me and said, "Well you sure are a lucky one, it seems as if Orochimaru-san is interested in you." She then gave out a smile and turned around, walking away, I think I heard her say something like, "What kind of interest could it be?"

Two years have passed; I am still working at the teahouse. I had no news about whatever happened to Temari and Gaara. I hope they were not experiencing the same exhaustion as I am. Kurenai had been kind to me, but she did not even give me day offs from work and everyday I had chores to do. One night, when I was working, after I had served the bottles of sake Jiraiya ordered, he just does not get tired of them… perverted drunkard. I stood up and walked away when I felt someone grab the back of my collar, he pulled me making me lie on his lap when I looked up it was Orochimaru with a smile on his face. I felt so vulnerable then, I started to wonder, what he wanted with me until he suddenly hugged me with his other hand holding my head against his chest, making me blink for a few times because of the awkwardness.

"Kawaii desu!" Orochimaru exclaimed, making most of the people in the teahouse look at him. It was well known that Orochimaru was a pedophile but he was very meticulous when it comes to little boys. It is the very first time people had seen him actually yell that aloud. I felt like I wanted to melt to the floor. His hands were smoother than I have expected. It was as if I have rubbed the highest quality of silk upon my skin. I felt myself turn red.

Jiraiya began to laugh and so did the two geishas beside him. "Let go of the poor boy Orochimaru, you'll traumatize him!" he said jokingly as he slapped his thigh from all the laughing he did. Well not actually traumatized, but surprised by what Orochimaru suddenly did. Orochimaru just let me go and helped me stand up. I quickly gave out a bow and ran towards the kitchen with my face blushing visible to anyone who looked at me.

It looked like Kurenai, saw what happened since she followed me. I was still red for what happened earlier. She then bended down at the time our face were at the same level. "Did he _touch_ you in anyway?" Kurenai asked me, with her eyes narrowed. At that age of mine, I already knew what she meant of _touch. _I have heard a lot from people talking at my work.

I quickly shook my head and replied to her, "No, he just wrapped his arms around me that was all he did." Kurenai gave out a nod and then stood up straight. She then placed two teapots and a few teacups on my tray.

"Now go and remember, if he did, he would have to pay extra." She said that as if it was only a little game. As if it was so sinless for a person to _touch_ me in such a manner. The only thing on her mind was that, he would be paying extra if he did. I was disgusted about it. No wonder I was considered a 'Servant Boy', meaning if one of the guests _ordered_ something… I have to serve it whether I liked it or not. It was sickening; I never knew that was a part of my job. I thought it was only my job to serve the drinks and food. Well, there was no more time to think, I quickly headed out with the two teapots.

A few weeks later, in the middle of the morning, I just finished bathing, when I heard Kurenai call me. I quickly wore my clothes and I ran down the hall with my hair soaked. "What do you want from me now Kure…" suddenly cut off upon seeing Orochimaru right across Kurenai, smiling at me.

Kurenai told me to sit down and so I did. She placed both her hands on her lap and said, "I have called you because Orochimaru wanted to talk to me about you." She gave out a smile at me while I just gulped.

"Well, this servant boy of yours… what was his name again? Oh yes, Kankurou. Has been in my mind since the first time I laid my eyes on him. He looked like he had potential. His body is so fresh, the structure is just right. It is hard to come across a boy like him these days." Orochimaru said, looking down at me. I felt uneasy and hoped that it would not be anything involving such malicious _touching_ of my body. This made me take out Hanna sensei's handkerchief and wish that no bad would happen.

Kurenai placed her thumb and middle finger together. She then started moving the two of them in a somehow circular motion, "You will have to pay hourly for him Orochimaru-san."

At first Orochimaru was silent and just gave out a few blinks. When suddenly he started laughing, "I cannot believe you would think of such a thing about me Kurenai!" he said placing a hand on his cheek with a smile. "What I mean was that, I wanted to teach Kankurou in the ways of Kabuki."

For a moment there, Orochimaru reminded me of a geisha that was once having a conversation with a drunken man who said such indecent things to her. I even wondered how she managed to talk so calmly. Awkwardly, Orochimaru was like an opposite of Jiraiya, I often wonder how these two even get along. Well that is not the point now. Kurenai began to think of what Orochimaru said of wanting to teach me the arts of Kabuki. She shook her head and then said, "I am sorry Orochimaru-san but I could not give him to you just like that."

Orochimaru placed a finger on his lower lip, "What if I buy him off of you?" he said with a smirk. I turned to Kurenai and saw her face surprised of what Orochimaru said. Her expression suddenly turned into a question that asks how much Orochimaru will be willing to pay for me.

"How about a payment of five hundred yen?" Orochimaru said with a smile. The smile of his suddenly turned to a pout and he shook his head. You could see by just looking at Kurenai that she was jaw dropping upon the amount. In those days one yen could buy two bottles of liquor. Imagine what five hundred yen could do. Then Orochimaru said, "I think One thousand yen would do… No! That is just too low! You would certainly not give me the boy at that price! One thousand five hundred yen, no wait make that two thousand yen… How about…"

"Orochimaru-san! Please wait! You're going to make me faint with all that money, the two thousand yen would do!" Kurenai said that in such excitement I have never seen her in before. She was very pleased with Orochimaru increasing the payment and it looked like he was willing to pay more than that. Well as Kurenai said, she will faint from the large amount of money so I guess that is the reason. "Kankurou, you better get ready and pack your things. You will be going by the time Orochimaru leaves."

I slowly stood up and gave a bow, "Hai, Kurenai." I said somehow, feeling bad that Kurenai is willing to sell me just like that. I turned around and walked towards my room. I suddenly remembered my brother and sister; I wondered what is happening to them. Why is it that I have not heard from Temari and Gaara for two years? Temari are you eating normally? Gaara are they treating you nicely? Those questions were in my mind as I packed and went back to the room where Orochimaru and Kurenai were staying.

Orochimaru then stood up as a sign that he would be leaving with me already. "Sakon will bring the payment later at night." He said, heading for the exit, "Now come on, Kankurou, it's time to go."

I looked at Kurenai but she did not look at me, she just stood up and bowed at Orochimaru. I just gave out a sigh and followed him. We did not ride anything but we just walked to where he lived. Then suddenly he said something like, "I don't like very crowded streets but don't worry I know a deserted alleyway which is a quicker path to where I live." He then turned to enter the alley. It was a little dark and no one passes there. I stopped at my tracks from following him since I did not know if I could trust him or not.

He too stopped from walking and turned around to look at me. I just stood there and I felt myself tremble. Orochimaru just gave out a smirk and turned around. "I may be known to be a pedophile Kankurou but trust me I won't do anything to benefit myself from your body." The way he said it sent a shiver down my spine. Since I do not live at the teahouse anymore, I decided to take a risk and follow him.

Thank god, he did not do anything. I followed him wherever he went until we managed to arrive at where he lived. He entered first, and I looked at the outside, it was much bigger than Uncle Yashamaru's. No wonder Kurenai showed such hospitality to him and Jiraiya. They were rich. I shook my head to snap out of the trance and went inside.

_To be continued…_

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Angelus Eros Weiss : I have not received that much reviews but I'm satisfied with my friend's review already. Thanks LabraDoodle. Special mention! HAhaha! Anyway, hoped you enjoyed my fic. See you next chapter!


	3. New Beginning

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto because if I did they would all be gay.

**OOCness and Alternative Universe**

Warning : Some sexual themes, Shounen Ai (It turns out that I don't know when this would show up so… here yah go), foul language

Angelus Eros Weiss here! Chapter 3 is now up! I do not have that much reviews, but thank you to all my reviewers! Anyway, I made Sakon and Ukon older than Kabuto. Anyway, the Kabuki history here… I mixed it up a little bit… on purpose. Since I need a part of its history and since there is not exactly a date here, I do not know. Okay now, enjoy chapter 3 of Memoirs of a Yakusha!

Chapter 3 : New Beginning

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I felt my jaw drop upon seeing the interior, the entrance had a room that overlooked a garden, the sun came in which made everything sparkle. The place was filled with the scent of flowers. Everything seemed so expensive, more expensive than what I saw at my Uncle's home. There were even paintings on the walls mostly of Kabuki actors. I looked at one and saw a beautiful woman, which had half of her face covered with a fan and only showed her golden eyes. She wore a white flowing kimono, which had a silver snake decorated around it. It seemed that it was wrapping around the woman as if she were its prey. Her eyes though, it seemed so alluring it reminded me of the first time is saw a snake at our fishing village. Its eyes somehow hypnotized me, making me just stand there and look at it. Luckily, my otoosan came just in time before it bit me.

I think Orochimaru noticed me staring at the painting enthralled by the woman's eyes. "You seem to be enjoying the painting." He said to me, as he looked at the painting along with me. I looked up at him, he had a sweet gentle smile on his face, not like the ones I have seen him do before. "Want to know something about that woman?" he said, as he continued gazing upon the painting.

I gave him a nod and replied, "Hai, I want to know who she is." When he heard me say those words, he gave out a chuckle and then looked at me. I noticed something about his eyes; it looked so much like the woman's in the painting. Until suddenly something hit me, "You're t-that woman?" I said aloud in surprise.

Orochimaru began to laugh at my reaction and continued walking until two men who looked so much like each other welcomed him. "Welcome home Orochimaru-sama." The two said in unison as they bowed. After bowing, they suddenly looked at me in a way of wondering of who I am and what am I doing here.

"Sakon, Ukon, you must've noticed Kankurou, he would be staying with us from now on." Orochimaru said to them as he placed a hand on my shoulder. Kurenai's lecturing me on bowing down to those superior of me had effect. I bowed down before the two. I could hear the two of them give out a chuckle; this made me look up in curiosity of wanting to find out what their laughter was all about.

They just looked at me; well I did not expect them to bow or anything anyway. "The name's Ukon." Said the one with his hair covering the right side of his face, he then pointed at the one with his hair covering the left. "This is my younger brother Sakon."

It was easy to know which is which once I noticed the difference of their hairstyles. Orochimaru then called for Sakon and asked Ukon to show me the way to my room. As we walked down the hall, Ukon began to start a conversation with me. "So did Orochimaru-sama buy you?" He said in a tone that was well unexpected because it seemed as if it was normal to him.

I replied, "He bought me for two thousand yen at the Shiawase Teahouse." I began to think on how Kurenai treated me, she was kind to me in a way but I did not know that she would just sell me to some person like that. I think Ukon noticed that certain sorrow in me.

"Well you're not the first one; my younger brother and I were sold by our parents to Orochimaru-sama." While Ukon said it, a smile still lingered on his face. Just by looking at him, I could tell he is thinking about something. "I think that was about ten years ago when Sakon and I were about ten years old." Even though those words he said sounded sad, he was cheerful about it.

He managed to move on, look up what is ahead of him, and not dwell at the past. I wish I could do the same thing, easier said than done as they all say. I gave out a sigh when a man older than me by about six years at that time blocked my path. His hair colored with the relaxing touch of gray and blue. He had tied his hair in a certain way that fitted him. He had glasses that just blended in with his good looks. He was unique; I have never seen a person quite like him before actually. Though he had such attractiveness, the way he looked at me seemed like I was just some stray dog at the streets.

"I cannot believe Orochimaru-sama would take such trash in." The man said, as he gave out a certain scowl. I knew that he disliked me ever since the first time he laid eyes on me. I had a bad feeling about him but I just cannot tell it.

Ukon just gave out a snicker, "Say all you want Kabuto." He said to him in a mocking tone as he pulled me as a sign that we would continue. He then muttered something but I did not get to hear it clearly, so I did not know what it was.

My room was not that far, so we managed to arrive there after a few seconds. Before he left though, he asked me to sit down and so I did. He sat right in front of me and then started observing me. "Well this is how it works here Kankurou." He said as a he sat up with such good posture, not as I have seen other men do… well okay I have seen Orochimaru do it but I did not expect him to do the same. "We fix our own room, since Orochimaru-sama does not really trust maids. All of us have chores we have to do. This is the number one thing to do, Orochimaru, Jiraiya and Sasori should be called with –sama since without them we would not be living in such a place right now." He then patted my head as a sign that he hoped that I understood what he told me. Well I understood them all. I knew Orochimaru and Jiraiya but who is Sasori? I never have seen him before at the Shiawase Teahouse. I asked, "Neh, Ukon, who is Sasori…-sama?"

Ukon turned to me with no signs that he was surprised of my question at all. "Well Sasori-sama is not actually a very outgoing person, so I'm not surprised that you have not seen him at the Shiawase Teahouse." He then continued, as he stood up and headed for the door, "You will meet him later on, well I will be going now, feel free to explore but remember not to disturb Sasori-sama he gets a bit cranky at times since he's always overworked." He slid the door open and went out shutting it behind him.

I stood up and looked around the room for a while. Then I unpacked my things and placed them at the cabinets. Afterwards, I had nothing to do anymore, well as Ukon said; I could feel free to explore the place and so I did. I walked down the hall and looked down at the floor. I never noticed it was so smooth and shiny before. Suddenly I saw a door, that was somewhat dark inside but I cannot help the feeling but enter. Inside I saw people just standing there facing me. I went closer and they did not even move even a single bit. I then found this strange, I held the hand of the woman wearing a kimono, and I noticed that by just looking at her hand she was not human. A marionette, though there was something about it that was beautiful me, I just could not put a finger on it.

I then heard footsteps coming closer it stopped for a while and then I heard a voice saying, "Someone's in my room!" The footsteps went back but this time it had a faster tempo. I did not know what to do, I just looked to left and right, there was no place to hide. Until a man appeared right before the door, his face had such angelic features that seemed to have a certain bond with his blonde hair. He wore a black kimono with red clouds designed all over it. His appearance before the entrance was like an angel that has descended from the heavens above. I just stared at him.

He looked at me and then gave out a sigh, "You must be the new kid." He said to me as he came closer and looked down at me, "Tell me, what you are doing here in my room?"

I could not just lie to him and say that I got lost. "I just thought those puppets of yours were beautiful..." I said looking down, scared of what his reaction would be. At first, I thought he would think that I am weird. Then suddenly he lifted my chin up and looked straight at me.

"You're interesting, I like you." He said to me with a smile as he began to rustle up my hair. "Well I still have work to do, go run along and play or something." Well I had no choice but to bow and head out of his room.

The next day, Sakon awakened me; he told me that it was the start of our chores. I looked out the window and saw that the sun has not yet risen. No choice, this is how the place worked so I had to go with it. My very first job was to do the cleaning for the kitchen. Sounds easy don't it? Trust me, it was like hell for a kid like me, I was short so I did not get to reach the corners of the ceiling and had a hard time in doing so. After an hour or so, I managed to clean the whole kitchen. Everything was so clean, well that was until Kabuto came.

"Everything so… spotless…" he then reached out to grab one of the dishes, "But it looks like you have missed a spot." He then threw it at the floor, smashing it into pieces along with the other dishes that I have cleaned. I worked my ass off cleaning those things and all he does is smash them. Ukon came with Orochimaru-sama right beside him. Kabuto went to the floor and bowed down surprising me. "Orochimaru-sama, forgive me, Kankurou decided to play instead of doing his chores, I tried to stop him but he would not listen and then he accidentally destroyed the plates but don't worry, he did not destroy them all."

Just by looking at Orochimaru-sama, I could tell he had disappointment written all over his face. He just gave out a sigh and said, "Kankurou since you're new here and you're in that age, I'll leave you of with a warning for now." He then went out in a bad mood.

Ukon then looked at me, he too was disappointed, he just shook his head, and went to follow Orochimaru-sama. Once Kabuto and I were already together alone. He stood up laughing and then looked at me with a smirk on his face. He then went near me, and held my face with his hand. I could feel his nail dig in but good thing it did not pierce through my skin. "Once Orochimaru-sama and Jiraiya-sama have left to perform at a theater of another city later on, you will feel hell." He then threw me down to the floor. As you remembered, Kabuto threw all those dishes on the floor; the shattered pieces caused me to have a wound on my right arm. It had a deep cut but I decided to clean the dishes first.

I could feel my arm flinch at every movement I made while cleaning the shattered pieces at the floor. It took me quite a while; I could not help but shed a few tears from the pain I was feeling. Once I had already piled the pieces. I tried to find a cloth to wrap around it; I searched for a while and found nothing. I then decided to use my shirt instead; I took it off and wrapped the pieces of shattered dishes in it. I then placed them outside. Yeah, imagine me walking around half-naked with a huge bleeding wound on my arm. I remembered myself, swiftly running to my room as much as possible trying to get there unseen. Not because I was half-naked no, remember I am male. I just did not want to let them see the wound on my arm since I was afraid that someone might see and ask me what caused this. I did not want to lie but I had to.

Just about the time when I was near my room, I saw Sakon right in front of me, standing there staring at my arm. He quickly went to me and gently grabbed it closely observing it. "What happened to you?" He asked me with that worried look on his face. At first, I did not answer. Until he started to ask again this time in a much louder tone, "Tell me Kankurou, what happened to you?"

I started to think about what to say to him, should I say the truth or lie about what happened… If I told the truth, would he believe that Kabuto could do such a thing? I decided to tell it through Kabuto's story, "I was playing instead of doing my chores, I accidentally destroyed some of the dishes and I slipped." I said why looking away for a little bit.

"You should have known better." Sakon told me, as he led me inside my room not even bothering to slide the door shut. He sat down and so did I, he continued on looking at my wound and shook his head, "Your arm is soaking in your blood, you should have treated this… what happened to your shirt by the way?"

I just shook my head, "I did not know where to place the shattered pieces, and I used it instead, nothing much." I said giving out a little smile until my wound flinched. My arm was starting to feel weak; well obviously, because I think I lost a little blood… well not a little… you know what I mean. Sakon bit the end of his kimono's sleeve and tore a part of it. The only thought in my mind was how he could do such a thing to an expensive kimono. He tied it around my wounded arm and then said, "This would help stop the bleeding."

Suddenly, we heard a man say, "What's going on?" we looked at the door and I saw the man with blonde hair once again. Sakon quickly bowed before him and said, "Sasori-sama, there's a deep cut on Kankurou's arm."

Surprised, since I never knew that the angelic figure I talked to before was actually Sasori-sama himself. I expected him to look older; his looks were as if he was in his teens or young twenties. The thing that surprised me the most was when I found out his real age from Sakon after a few weeks he was in his forties back then. Anyway, back to the story, Sasori-sama came near and began to examine it. He shook his head and turned to Sakon saying, "Get Neji and tell him to bring some medicine, needle and thread."

Just the mention of needles freaked me out, a needle poked me once, and it hurt. Then I noticed him say a name, Neji, I never heard of him before and I had not seen him. Sakon hurriedly went out and Sasori-sama just stayed there with me. "What happened to this?" he asked me, pressing on my wound, adding pressure to it, to stop it from bleeding any longer.

"Kabuto he…" Once again, I paused for a while, thinking of what I should say. The truth or the lie I told Sakon? If I told the truth to him then if he told Sakon, Sakon would tell him that I was lying or something. So I decided to just tell the story I told before, "I didn't listen to Kabuto and I played in the kitchen instead of doing my chores. The dishes shattered and I slipped... so there you go."

Sasori-sama just shook his head when suddenly I saw Sakon came back with a girl. The girl wore simple white clothing, which seemed to match the color of her eyes. She had long hair, which she tied somewhere near the end. She went near, gave out a bow to Sasori-sama and placed the basket near him.

I just looked at her, she was so kawaii, and I have never seen such a girl like her. Sasori-sama noticed the way I looked at her and then said, "Oh Kankurou, I guess that it's your first time meeting Neji, he will be with you in your lessons of Kabuki, he has been here for a few months but hopefully you two would get along."

I felt my jaw drop when I heard Sasori-sama say that she was actually a he. Well I thought that I should not be that surprised since… the people here are not what you say normal. Sasori-sama quickly asked for the needle and Neji gave it to him with a string. Sakon just patiently looked at what was happening as I heard my heart beat as if a drum scared.

I saw Sasori-sama take out a bottle and then poured something on my wound that looked so much like water but smelled different, so it cannot be water weird though, it did not sting. When he was about to use the needle I quickly shut my eyes and I could feel myself shake. I could feel nothing so I decided to open my eyes and there I saw Sasori-sama tugging the needle making my skin get pulled up. I then decided to watch it, Sasori-sama really knew what he was doing and he did it neatly without any mistakes.

It was only for a few minutes and the wound was already put together by the stitches. Now only, time may heal it. I saw Sasori-sama placed the needle he used on a piece of white cloth and placed it back in the basket. "Sakon, please accompany Neji as he places these back." He said as he continued on looking at me, as Neji went out so did Sakon as the angelic one ordered.

"Later on, will be your studies," Sasori-sama said to me, as I then looked up at him. "You will learn the arts of acting, dancing, music and puppetry." Just hearing him say those words made me excited inside. I wanted to learn something new for a change. In the fishing village, I used to live. Boys like me were only taught how to fish for a living.

As I started my lessons, I did the best of what I could especially when I found out that anyone could be watching. The thought of my brother and sister came to me; I might be able to find them easier that way. Neji became my best friend, we did almost everything together, I remember once.

Sakon was teaching us the art of becoming an onnagata, if you do not know what an onnagata is; let me tell you then. An onnagata is a yakusha that performs as a woman in the play. Some yakushas do this full time but others only part time. When becoming an onnagata one must move with elegance, poise and maybe some seductiveness to boot.

Neji was doing so well on becoming one; he had all the three, which could convince me that he is a woman if I did not know that he is actually a boy. He did so well. When it was my turn, I stood in the middle, Sakon sensei then did a few movements, which he wanted me to copy and so I did. Sensei hit me at the back with a fan saying that I have a rusty posture. He then hit my shoulder saying that I lack grace. Then on the head, telling me that I need to be more alluring. I remember Neji laughing at me at that time.

Tayuya taught us music; she was once geisha but failed miserably due to her bad mouthing. Shamisen, tsuzumi, taiko, takebue, nohkan, geza, o-daiko, voice and hyoushigi, she especially loved the two flutes takebue and nohkan. She seems to act boyishly but still a good sensei even with the intense criticizing. I wonder how an ex-geisha like her managed to get here.

Tsuzumi and taiko are certain kinds of drums especially used in Kabuki but I think you know that already right? While Shamisen is somehow similar to a guitar but its body more squared.

Neji was not able to learn puppetry for Sasori-sama said that he had more hope of being a yakusha than a puppeteer. This made me wonder if he thinks that I sucked that much in acting back then. Puppetry was more than moving your arms and making the puppets move. No, it was more than that, you must make them alive, give life to them as if they were human. In addition, he told me that I would be wearing all black while performing as a sign that I am invisible.

The dances if not taught by Ukon were taught by Sakon sensei. There were three distinct styles of dance, odori, mai and furi. We also learned Shosagoto or "pose business" which used in acting and dancing, it could also be an independent piece which is more concerned with showing the beauty of the dancer's movements.

Odori, it tends to be quite lively, it contains leaps in the air and stamping. Mai, derived largely from the Noh theatre and there is deliberate turning and pivoting. Not like the usual posture where one foot is placed in front of the other. The 'at rest' posture at Mai places the weight equally on both feet. Furi, essentially pantomimic, stage props are often incorporated and will be used as a focus upon which to form a series of movements. The actor can use the prop a fan or maybe something else to allude to the text sung by the chorus or chanter.

Jiraiya-sama taught us the five performance styles, danmari, aragoto, wagoto, maruhon, and shosagoto. I know that you already know shosagoto but the other four maybe not.

Danmari is the oldest form of Kabuki; it is rarely done these days. The simple form only lasts for about ten minutes. It was more like a wordless pantomime. The members of the troupe would appear and display their costumes and special idiosyncrasies. This generally consists of the exposition of a topic that would create extreme differences of opinion between the characters. The scene is always set at night and out doors.

Aragoto, an extremely exaggerated style that projects power and masculine vigor, the literal meaning is 'rough business' and it reflects the brashness, vitality and bombastic martial spirit of Edo. It emphasizes the superhuman qualities of the principal characters with dramatically heightened speech and gesture, elaborate costume, extravagant stage props and vivid kumadori make up. This is where I managed to beat Neji in performance but still I suck at being an onnagata back then.

Wagoto, a complete opposite to aragoto, for the male character, wagoto meaning 'soft style' reflects a more delicate and refined style almost to the point of effeminacy. This is often used in love scenes since… who wants a screaming dude swinging a sword like a mad fucktard in a love scene?

Maruhon, this style was derived from puppet theatre, this became extremely popular. Sometimes the onnagata in particular would emphasize this connection and recreate the movements of the puppets. Unlike other kabuki styles, because the narration produces a slower pace of action, the actors would not appear upon stage until the chanter had set the scene.

He even taught us performance techniques there are a hundred of these but there are three, which are used frequently, mie, roppo and tachimawari.

Mie, it gives out a dramatic touch. A frozen dynamic pose happens which lasts for a few seconds. The yakusha crosses his eyes which is also called nirami. There are several types of Mie, the _ishinage mie _freezes the simulated action of throwing a stone, and the _fudou mie_ reproduces the pose of the fierce god Fudo with a rosary in the upturned left hand and a sword clasped upright at chest level in the right. More than one actor could do Mie, it could be performed as many as three characters at the same time.

Roppo, it is originally used for entrance but became more used for exits along the hanamichi, the walkway running from the rear of the theatre, through the audience to the stage. Its literal meaning is 'six directions'. There are several forms of this exaggerated style of exit. The _tobi roppo,_ 'flying roppo', involves the actor gesticulating with his hand whilst bounding along the hanamichi in a skipping motion. The _kitsune roppo_ involves the actor leaving the stage with curled "paws" in the manner of a fox.

Tachimawari, this one is my favorite of them all. It is a fight scene with high ranking choreography and such spectacular stunts. There are two types of motion, the slow stylized stabbing motion of a character who is attempting to murder an opponent in a grotesque dance of death, and a second type, which shows a hero, pitted against a group of as many as thirty opponents. My favorite here is the acrobatics.

There was so much to learn, I managed to continue my studies for a few months until Kabuto accused me of theft. I still remember it as if it was yesterday. It was afternoon then, we heard Tayuya sensei yelling that her nohkan was lost and that someone stole it. It was so precious to her, it was made of the best materials money can buy and if sold would make so much. I saw her search everywhere and then Kabuto came out with a smile on his face.

"Tayuya you have checked everywhere but what about Neji and Kankurou's room?" Kabuto said slyly, this scared me and made me think that something bad was going to happen. Neji who was with me even wondered what was going on, why would Kabuto even suggest to her to search in our room?

Tayuya sensei did what Kabuto said and first searched in Neji's room where Neji and I followed her to see what would happen, no flute seen. Then we went to my room, there Neji and I were placed in shock, her nohkan was seen in my things, even worse, it was damaged. As Tayuya sensei held it, I could see her face turn red in anger as she looked at me. "Kankurou you fucking bastard!" this I remembered she yelled right at me as he pulled me out of my room.

She got out a cane from one of the closets and pushed me down to the ground, making me lie on my stomach. "You bitch, after all I've done for you and you do this?" she yelled out, hitting me hard on the back, making me scream in agonizing pain. "I did not do anything to your flute!" I yelled out but she continued on cursing and hitting me on my back as hard as she could. I could see Kabuto with a smirk as he left. Neji tried stopping Tayuya sensei but she just pushed him away and continued. Luckily, Jiraiya-sama arrived at the right time and stopped Tayuya sensei from continuing.

"Tayuya, stop it!" Jiraiya-sama yelled out as he stood there, making Tayuya sensei stop from her actions. I could not move anymore, my body felt so painful. I could not breathe properly anymore. I felt so weak like a rag doll on the floor. Neji came closer to me I heard him say a few words but they all seemed to be unclear. After that, the only thing I remembered was that I woke up in my room with my body still feeling pain all over and Sakon sensei sitting near me saying that I will stop my studies. My hope of finding my siblings faded away when I heard this. I remember tears coming out from my eyes by the time Sakon sensei left the room.

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At last Chapter 3 has been submitted, oh well, I hope you all enjoyed this fic of mine. Please review for this makes me happy! Anyway, stay tune for the next chapter!


	4. Sorrow and Joy Don't Go Together

Disclaimer : I do not own Naruto

**OOCness and Alternative Universe**

Warning : Some sexual themes, Shounen Ai, foul language, well there's going to be some Yaoi axxxion in the near future or maybe now… we'll never know!

Angelus Eros Weiss here with Chapter 4 of 'Memoirs of a Yakusha', not much people have been reviewing there is only a spoonful of them. Still to those people who have been reading this, I will continue on for you guys!

Chapter 4 : Sorrow and Joy Don't Go Together

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Few years have passed, I was in the age of fourteen, and I was not able to study the arts of Kabuki until then. Neji had progressed a lot; he had already been performing in the theatre as a full time onnagata. While I just do housework, the thing is… I do not get to see my friend perform. I just stayed at home.

I remember at those times, Jiraiya-sama was not able to perform for he got sick. Orochimaru-sama did not continue performing as well but was always at Jiraiya-sama's side. He never left his side, somehow it amazed me, they must have been close.

I always peeked into the room and all I see was Orochimaru-sama sitting at his side even when he was sleeping. He would take care of him and I rarely saw our seasoned onnagata sleep back then. I remember one time; I was peeking in the room, I had a bucket of water right at my side, I was supposed to go and clean the roof when Ukon-sensei caught me. "What are you doing here?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm just amazed with how much Orochimaru-sama could endure just for him." I replied softly just to make sure I would not bother the two inside the room.

Ukon sensei, just gave a quick peek and smiled, "Those two are not just ordinary friends." He said as he then turned to me, with the smile still sticking on his face. Well I know that they are not just ordinary friends, they are actually best friends… but I wondered what he really meant by that. "They are what you say… lovers?"

Just the thought of them lovers made me want to collapse. They were both **men**, how could they be lovers if they were both **men**? "But they are guys." I said as much as possible trying not to yell it aloud.

Ukon sensei just shook his head, "Kankurou, Kankurou, being of the same sex is not a hindrance for love." He said to me, for some reason this made me scrunch up my face a little bit. I just did not get it back then, they were men, they had looks, they had money, and they had the fame, why not go for some hot woman and not each other? Ukon sensei then tapped my head with a fan, "You will understand it in the near future." He said as he walked away.

I just picked up the bucket of water and proceeded to the roof thinking that I would never understand such a thing. Days later and yes Jiraiya-sama was still sick, Neji called me into his room, being his friend I quickly responded.

"Neji, why have you called me?" I asked him and I saw that he had a smile on his face. Neji had a little something in his mind and I knew it by just looking at him.

"I know that you have wanted to go out for some time Kankurou so this is your chance." He whispered making sure, that no one else has heard it. He then pulled out my hand and said aloud; "Kankurou, I want you to buy the latest magazine of Kabuki for me OKAY?" it was as if he was purposely doing this so that everyone could hear it. He then gave me some money and quickly pushed me out in a way that told me to take my time.

I slipped on my slippers and I thought to first maybe run to the nearest shop then go for a walk just to make sure, all I need were done. I managed to buy the magazine, still had money left which made me think if Neji did that on purpose or not, I know Neji, he knows that I have not been eating normally. He would do something like this but I decided not to spend it. As I crossed over a bridge, I suddenly saw a little girl looking down at the water. She had white eyes just like Neji's; she was so young half of my age I guess. She was so kawaii; I could not help but come close to her and ask what she was doing.

She turned to me in wonder of why I suddenly approached her, she was alone but still she gave out a sweet smile to me, I smile that I would never be able to forget. "Onii-chan, I'm just doing an errand for a geisha at our okiya." She said to me in the sweetest of ways that I could ever imagine that a girl would say to me.

"By the way, what's your name and how old are you?" I asked her, I know that it was unusual to ask for she was so young and she does not even know me. She just gave out a smile and answered me again. "It's Hanabi and I'm only seven years old."

I was right; she was only half of my age. Such an age gap it would be and that would make me a pedophile. I then noticed that she was quite thin and I thought that maybe she had not been eating properly. I decided to take out my money and give it to her. She hesitated at first but I insisted. "A-Arigatou." She said to me, startled by me suddenly giving her money. I noticed that there was some dirt on her face and so I took out Hanna sensei's handkerchief which I kept until now and used it to wipe her face.

"Here." I said to her giving the handkerchief to her as well, "You will need it more than I do, well I better get going, ja ne." I then walked back home as I left Hanabi with a smile on her face.

I arrived, took off my slippers and quickly headed for Neji's room. He was patiently sitting down, looking at the accessories set on his table. Upon seeing me, he stood up and went near. I gave him the magazine, when suddenly my stomach grumbled.

"Did you not use the rest of the money that was left to eat?" he questioned me with a worried look on his face. I just gave out a wide smile, "I could not help it, there was a little girl there, and she needed it more than I do."

He shook his head yet there was a smile on his face, "Sometimes you're too kindhearted for your own good Kankurou-san." He said in a somehow teasing tone, making me laugh. Hanabi reminded me of Neji and Neji reminded me of Hanabi. I told him that I had fun exploring the outside world; still, I preferred to stay home.

Time flew by until we had to say goodbye to one of the best yakushas the world has ever seen, Jiraiya-sama. He was a great loss for us, especially for Orochimaru-sama. He did not even come out of his room nor eat; he just lied on his bed as if he wanted to die as well. Everyone was worried about him, even Kabuto. No one could ever convince him to eat he just lied there waiting for himself to die.

I was not able to come in there for a while since Ukon sensei told me not to enter. They then set up an altar for Jiraiya-sama's picture and hearing about his death, friends and other Kabuki actors came to visit.

One of the busiest days I ever had, so many people came and so many slippers were there that I have to arrange. I managed to remember whose was which by the time I managed to pair the shoes with their clothes and faces. I noticed; there were quite a lot of geishas who visited. That freaking perv…

Anyway, I then continued with my work as I then headed for the kitchen when suddenly, I heard Sasori-sama call my name, I looked at the direction in front of me when suddenly. Orochimaru-sama came out of his room and pounced on me shocking everybody and almost giving me a heart attack. His kimono was desperately hanging on his upper body and half of his torso was exposed, "Kankurou! I have been waiting for you! Where have you been?" he yelled.

I did not know what to say to him but when I was about to speak he suddenly cut me off. I noticed that everyone was looking at him as if he was some sort of deranged lunatic. "I just want to tell you that you will be continuing your studies on Kabuki tomorrow!" I was so happy to hear that, the thought of seeing my siblings came back and hope has once again arrived.

Orochimaru then went off me and had that smile on his face as he went back inside his room, saying that he was hungry. While I just lay on the floor seeing that everyone was already looking at me. I heard Sasori-sama laugh and come near me, he helped me up and then said, "You sure are the lucky one Kankurou, well I guess I will be seeing you tomorrow then!" he then patted me on the shoulder and went away.

The next day I was so excited to continue on my studies, that I woke up to finish my chores early. By the time Orochimaru-sama woke up I was already there with his food. I think he noticed the excitement I had. A few hours later, it was already time for my studies and so I went to the room where Neji and I used to go. When I entered, I was expecting to see my usual teachers, Sakon, Ukon, Tayuya, etcetera. Instead I saw Orochimaru-sama standing there waiting for me with Neji. As I came in, Neji quickly walked towards me and said, "You must be wondering why I'm here, I just wanted to watch you that's all."

I then looked at Orochimaru-sama; he was ready so I had better be ready as well. He then gestured me to come near and so I did. He then gave me the twin fans that I used to use in my studies. "Now let's see if you remember the art of becoming an onnagata." Orochimaru said as he suddenly did a few movements so that I could copy.

I copied it but once again… "You lack grace..." he said hitting my arm hard, "You lack poise…" he then hit my back hard, making me stand straight, "and you lack seductiveness!" he said aloud, hitting my head with his fan.

I remember rubbing my head; I thought a quick painless hit would be given to me. Instead, he hit my head hard almost making me dizzy. Neji as usual was laughing at my effort on becoming an onnagata. Orochimaru-sama then crossed his arms and began to wave his fan for a little bit as I saw him think.

"I know now," he said suddenly sealing his fan shut with one flick of his wrist, "think of something graceful, gentle, sweet and alluring you have seen." Once I heard that, I was almost clueless, what could have been so alluring to me? Gentle… Graceful… Sweet... Alluring…

Once I thought of those words, Hanabi quickly went into my mind. There was something about her that I could just not put my finger on back then. Orochimaru-sama once again did the exact movements he did earlier. The movements of his hand, the way he raises it, the way his wrist flows with his hand. The ways his feet moves, the direction they point. The way his fingers positioned on the fan. All of it so elegant, he was not called one of the best onnagatas for nothing!

Then after he has finished I then positioned myself and all I could think of was Hanabi. Hanabi's sweet smile, her soft gentle hands, her cute face and the way her hand held out to me. As I copied Orochimaru-sama's movements, Hanabi was the only thing in my mind until I flicked the fan shut.

There was silence; I opened my eyes to look if Orochimaru-sama and Neji were still there. Neji had that surprised look on his face and his mouth was wide open. Orochimaru-sama just gave out a satisfied smile, went near me and said, "Well, that worked as I have expected but there is just one question that won't get out of my mind." His smile then turned into a smirk, "Who or what have you been thinking about hmm?"

I was stunned then; suddenly I noticed the expression on Neji's face. I could not read it but it seemed as if he was hoping I was not thinking of something. However, at those days I did not know why. "Sasori-sama's puppets!" I said aloud with a wide smile on my face.

Orochimaru-sama fell dumbfounded and the smile on his face vanished. Instead, it was replaced with a look of wonder making me think that he did not expect that at all. Did he expect me to think of someone human?

"Oh, I see," Orochimaru-sama replied, "well we are off to a good start, now let's continue." Those were the times when I managed to do things more acceptable than those years back then when I could not do anything in this class.

Orochimaru-sama taught me the art of becoming an onnagata, acting, dancing even music, I think it's because that Tayuya sensei still hasn't forgiven me for what I did. He taught me everything, he knew so much about Kabuki. One thing that surprised me though, he was actually good at aragoto even Neji was surprised on seeing this. He told us that he has become rusty because he has only played as a guy in the plays only three times in his life. Still, if that was rusty then maybe if he had done it frequently then he might be as good as Jiraiya-sama. Well, I think it was better for him to become a full time onnagata, his features matched to it.

As my classes with him ended, it was then time for Sasori-sama's. Neji and I went out of the room, there we saw Kabuto leaning on the wall looking at us. "Well, well, it looks like you're the _replacement_ for Jiraiya-sama, Kankurou." He said with the smile on his face, the same one I saw when Tayuya was hitting my back with the cane.

When I heard that it angered me, Jiraiya-sama could never be replaced even by me. He was one of the kindest person I met to tell you the truth. Then Kabuto would just say that I am his _replacement_. I wanted to yell at him but I was in no position to do so. He had a higher rank than I did; he was a hybrid of an onnagata, meaning he performs both male parts and female parts.

"Kabuto, you are in no position to say such things!" Neji said, stepping forward. I have never seen Neji like this before. "Just because Jiraiya-sama has passed away it does not mean that you could insult him!"

Kabuto just crossed his arms, "Well, well, the little Neji managed to fight his own battle, this is something new." Kabuto snickered when suddenly Neji slapped him hard on the face. I was useless; I just watched what was going on.

I noticed Neji grit his teeth and his eyes showed anger, "At least I'm not like you, you harlot!" Neji continued as Kabuto began to rub the red mark left by the slap. "You weren't satisfied with Kabuki… opening yourself to prostitution!"

As you could see back in those days some Kabuki actors could allow themselves to be opened up for prostitution, those were one of the dark secrets of Kabuki history. Kabuto then started to laugh as if prostitution was not a bad thing. "Neji, even I wonder why you have not become a prostitute yourself," Kabuto said, tilting his head a little bit "maybe you're just saving yourself for someone _special_… someone very _close_ to you…"

I could see Neji's face turn red making me come closer to my best friend, "Neji are you okay?" I asked him but Neji said nothing and continued on looking away from me. I then turned to Kabuto, "How could you say such things Kabuto!"

"Well let me tell you a little story Kankurou!" Kabuto said cheerfully clapping his hand for a few times, still Neji remained silent, "Once there were two children, they were the best of friends, now, one day they were playing at the garden when suddenly. One of them tripped and fell down, therefore, he obtained a wound making him unable to walk. The other one being his best friend, ripped a part of his sleeve and tied it around his best friend's wound. He then carried his friend to bring him to the room and call their master to treat it properly. Now because of this his friend's feeling grew more for him, even though they were both male, he did not care. Then…"

Neji suddenly ran off without saying anything, leaving me with Kabuto. I took a quick look at Kabuto and then chased Neji. When I heard that story it sounded so familiar, it was like the time Neji and I were playing… and when he tripped. Something bothered me about the story back then, the part where one of them grew feelings for another. I wondered then… could Neji be? I stopped thinking about that, which could not be true. If it is then how could Kabuto find out about it? Well, continuing, I managed to grab hold of Neji's wrist.

"Neji, what's going on? What's with Kabuto suddenly telling… err… fairytales?" I said this to him when suddenly he turned to me with tears running down his eyes. Neji crying, I was not used to it. He said nothing; his other hand grabbed my top making me let go of his wrist. He then pulled himself against me, crying. "Don't you get it Kankurou? Those two boys in the story Kabuto was telling were the both of us!"

Neji dug his face deeper into my chest, "Kankurou I…!" after he said those words, I felt as if the world went blank to me, everything disappeared, I was in shock and I could not believe those words he said. Neji my own best friend had strong feelings for me. I did not know how to respond to it. Neji slid to the floor crying while I was speechless. "Neji, Gomen nasai…" I murmured as I left him there, heading to my next class where Sasori-sama was waiting for me.

I remembered then, when I was practicing my art of manipulation, Sasori-sama, noticed the sad expression on my face. "Kankurou, what's the matter, you seemed to be disturbed anything I could do to help?" he asked me, sitting right by my side.

I gave out a sigh and placed the puppet to the side, "Sasori-sama, I have this… friend who is a boy… Well, his best friend turned out to have feelings for him, and when that best friend of his confessed it to him, he turned blank and did not know what to feel or respond. What should he do?"

Judging by that way Sasori-sama looked at me, he knew that it was Neji and I. Since, remember, Neji was my only best friend and friend back then. "Well, Kankurou, that friend of yours better accept it or else their friendship might diminish. He would not want that would he?"

I just shook my head; they would not, especially if they have been friends for years already. They would not. I just could not understand it back then, I remembered what Ukon sensei told me about this, gender was not a hindrance to love but it felt so wrong then. Fuck… I was confused with what was right or wrong, damn it… Ever since then Neji and I did not look at each other the same again.

_To be continued…_

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No reviews still! Ah well, it's fun writing this stuff… anyway, to you readers out there, hopefully there are… -sigh- Hope you still like my fic!


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